What do you look for in meaningful and quality relationships? What if you had to put out a wanted ad for a worthy companion: would you pick option A or option B?
Option A: Seeking a companion whom I can trust and have complete honesty with. Must be willing to spend quality time together. Must be supportive in building each other up to be our best selves.
Option B: Looking for a companion who doesn’t want to give too much energy. We can spend as little time together- maybe once a week, a couple of times a month or maybe even a few times a year. Must be willing to shoot me down, crush my dreams and my self-esteem
Most people would probably pick option A, right? But what about when it comes to the most meaningful relationship you have, you know, the one you have with yourself? Are you offering yourself more of an option A relationship or an option B? Unfortunately, it seems way too many people are only giving themselves an option B. What better day to start giving yourself the love you deserve than today: Valentine’s Day!
Relationships are all about trust and honesty, are they not? Have you been honest with yourself and how you are treating yourself? Can you trust yourself enough to put more effort and time into your own personal wellbeing? Sometimes we can avoid our own wants and needs and put all our focus on others, but no one will ever really know us like ourselves. Get real with yourself. What are the priorities in your relationship with yourself? Don’t be a part-time self-lover, be a full-time all in, committed and constant self-companion!
Relationships bring the gift of spending meaningful, quality, and memorable times together. When you are in a healthy relationship you can’t get enough of that time! Are you spending any time with yourself? Have you checked in with yourself today or are you just on cruise control, speeding through your days? Think of yourself as your partner! Check-in: how are you doing? How was your day? What’s going well for you? What could be better? What are you hopeful about? Make it even better by writing these things down if you want. Enjoy some coffee time yourself. Go for a walk. Think of things you enjoy doing with others and see if you can enjoy them with you! Make it meaningful, make it high quality and don’t be afraid to make your own solo memories. Go ahead, spend some real quality time with you!
Support and encourage yourself. You must be your own biggest fan. Cheer yourself on! Believe in yourself! What you say to yourself and repeat over and over in your head is likely to be true. If you keep telling yourself you can’t do something, it’s kind of hard to do it right? Practice saying only things to yourself you would be comfortable saying to a child. You wouldn’t tell a child they aren’t good enough. You wouldn’t tell a child to sell themselves short. Don’t be so mean, be kind!
All in all, this can boil down to self-care. Self-care is a popular term we are hearing a lot about lately and although it is an important part of our healthy relationship with ourselves, it can sometimes be less than caring for oneself. Somehow self-care got turned into a whole new thing where you do something nice for yourself maybe once a week or a couple times a month or some people only once or twice a year! That’s ridiculous and that is not self-care. That’s almost like having a part-time boyfriend, or long distance relationship with yourself. To us, that type of “self-care” is more like a “treating” yourself than caring for yourself. Caring for you is an everyday thing! It’s making sure you are taking time to meet your needs physically, spiritually, emotionally and so on, from eating well and exercising, to getting enough sleep and managing stress. Self-care isn’t eating only healthy foods occasionally. Self-care isn’t exercising once a month. Self-care isn’t waiting until you are dead tired to give yourself more sleep, and it certainly isn’t letting your stress get so bad that it’s unmanageable. Daily self-care includes reading if that is meaningful to you or taking time to work on projects you find fulfilling. Self-care is a healthy part of your everyday life.
Treat yourself too! Don’t wait until you are so worn out to indulge yourself. Don’t wait until you are too tattered to finally do something special. You can do little special things every day. Would you really want to be in a relationship where your companion only pays attention to you once a week, or month, or year? No way! Treat yourself or do something extra special here or there and let it be the icing on the cake of your new self-care practice. Oscar Wilde said, “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” Loving yourself and taking good care of yourself isn’t vanity, its part of our sanity. Don’t forget to love yourself too! Be someone who makes you happy!